Mindset and body coaching to overcome emotional eating
Hi, everyone. Lucia Veracruz here, and welcome to the last lesson of week 4 Lesson 12. Today we will talk about Designing your future and How to get rid of the old identity (that doesn’t serve you) for good.
In our last lesson, we worked on your dreams and goals and we created your new identity that will help you move forward.
What we cover today summary:
- Designing your future
- How to get rid of the old identity (that doesn’t serve you) for good
Designing your future
Our lives are like stories with a happy or not so happy ending…
I think if we are aware of our mindset, who we are becoming and how our thinking can influence our actions and results, then we can design the happy ending we want.
It’s all about the story that you tell people about yourself and then people tell about you. This is the story people tell about me:
“At the age of 6, Lucia had to deal with the death of her mum and her dad spending almost a year in intensive care having no emotional or financial support.
She left Slovakia when she was 17 and dedicated the next few years to overcome her depression, anxiety, addictions to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and food by studying about physical and emotional health, fitness and nutrition, by doing counselling, readings books, going to personal development seminars, doing neuro-linguistic programming, kinesiology, meditation and practicing faith.
At the age of 21, she moved to the other side of the world to New Zealand, learned to speak English, went to uni and by the time she was 26, she opened her Personal Training studio on the Gold Coast.
She got married, had two boys, built a successful business from scratch, helped hundreds of clients achieve their goals, then sold her business and moved to Perth at the age of 38.
There Lucia became a mindset and body coach for mums, helping them to improve their lives with her own experience and knowledge. This is the unfinished story of Lucia Veracruz…”
You might be thinking that that’s an amazing story…
Since I was a little girl, I always had this desire to accomplish something big, to make a difference and leave a legacy worth sharing.
But for a long time, I went off track heading in the wrong direction by allowing my negative mindset and bad habits get in the way.
When that didn’t work for me, I knew some things had to change…
I got back up and kept moving forward towards a better future with faith.
By the way, it was definitely not a straight line up, far from it…
And with the right information, strategies and work, my desires became my reality.
All the people who have amazing stories, they don’t just wake up one day and get lucky and suddenly their lives are awesome.
They “write” their own future, they focus on it, then they do the work and their dreams turn into reality.
Just look at those people who focus on what they don’t have, who are negative, and who always complain and blame everything and everybody for their misfortune.
They are writing their future and they will just get more of the “bad” that they already have.
Good stories are planned and don’t happen by chance.
And here is how you can write your story:
*Please make sure you write this down. It is very important to do each exercise, in order to achieve your goals.
1. Look back at your life, and your childhood, and the negative things that you experienced and see how you can turn those around to be lessons that you are thankful for and add any pictures if possible.
For example, in my story:
I am grateful for my extended family who looked after me and my brother for a year when my dad was in the hospital fighting for his life.
I am grateful that my dad survived, and he was able to look after us and teach us how with determination and perseverance you can overcome difficult situations.
I am grateful I have figured out how to be balanced, happy, content and fulfilled despite hitting rock bottom being addicted to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and food.
I am grateful that I have turned out to be a balanced, healthy, fit, caring, compassionate, honest, reliable, successful, independent and motivated individual despite having a difficult start.
I am grateful for these experiences which have led me to gain wisdom and knowledge to help others achieve the same.
2. What milestones did you achieve so far? Add any pictures if possible.
E.g. Finishing school, getting your first job, buying your first house, getting married, having a baby, etc.
3. How do you want the story to turn out? Write down everything you want in the next few months.
E.g. Overcoming all of the obstacles, even if it seems impossible at this time.
4. Then once you have achieved those dreams, what does your future look like 2-3 years from now?
Write your story now and look at it frequently to program your mind to design the future you want.
How to get rid of your old identity (that doesn’t serve you) for good
It’s the best feeling in the world when you can finally take control back and be in charge of your life.
We have talked about this in our last lesson that in order to achieve this, first, you must separate your observer (reasonable brain) from your character (automated brain).
By doing this, you can catch your negative thoughts and throw them in the trash and replace them with the right ones, to avoid getting caught up in negative feedback loops.
This isn’t just theory. I’ve been able to apply it to myself and achieve my goals and I have been able to apply it to other people and help them achieve theirs.
I have already given you some examples on how you can implement this but I’m going to show you more of my negative automated thought patterns that I used to have and how I was able to overcome them.
I am hoping that by explaining them, you will be able to relate and apply the same principles regardless of your situation right now.
It only matters what you believe is true so you need to stop thinking that this will not apply to you because you are different from me.
I used to think and say the same and that mindset didn’t get me anywhere…
If you believe that you are capable and that you can achieve your dreams, then you will do the work…
Then you will find the motivation, desire and energy to complete this program from start to finish including your homework, exercises and eating nutritious food that satisfies you.
It is important to understand that creating this new automated response (that will serve you better) will require you to practice something new.
It may feel like this is not for you or that you are not good at it…
And at the start, you may “fall off the wagon” a few times, but if you keep persevering, eventually you get it and then you never look back!
It’s like learning to ride a bike or play an instrument. At first, it seems you need to concentrate on every move and eventually after hours and hours of practice, you’ll do it with ease without thinking.
And once you learn it, you will never forget it!
There might be days when you get challenged (as a mum probably most days) …
You might have a really tough day, maybe you won’t get much sleep, you don’t get to do your workout, you won’t have time to eat and then you eat crap which just makes you feel bad, maybe the kids will be particularly challenging that day, and you may think, that there is no way, you’d be able to control your emotions or actions when you are THAT EXHAUSTED AND “BEATEN UP”!
Well, I’ve had those days, especially when the boys were little and, on those days, the automated brain wanted to be in charge because using “reason” would require a lot of energy which I didn’t have…
It would be prompting me to binge, just eat anything I wanted and as much as I wanted because I had a tough day, I deserved it and who cared anyway.
It would be prompting me to take it easy for the next few days because I needed a break…
And it would be a real challenge not to listen to it because it sounded SO RIGHT…
However, if I did listen to it, I would be giving up control and missing out on the opportunity to create a new automated response which is the one I ultimately wanted.
This doesn’t mean that we can never rest or relax when we feel like it.
The question we must ask ourselves is, will overeating because we are tired, stressed or sad make us feel good?
Indulging in food might feel great while it is happening but as soon as the eating stops, guilt, shame and depression would follow…
Only when we break the old automated patterns and replace them with new ones, we will start to feel a sense of control.
And the more we do it, the easier it gets, to the point where the urges to binge will be gone for good.
So now no matter how tough my day may be, or how I manage my emotions (on some days better than others), I know for certain that I will make the choices that are good for me and my body because of my new patterns.
So how can you break old automated patterns?
Start by creating new habits like:
- Being organized.
- Not having foods in the house that don’t satisfy you and usually lead to binging while you are still learning (once your urges to binge go, you will be able to resist them).
- Making sure your pantry, fridge and freezer are filled with healthy nutritious foods (all 3 macros especially lots of fruits and vegetables).
- Not skipping meals and waiting until you are “starving”.
- Not doing grocery shopping when hungry.
- Choosing planned treats that satisfy you rather than impulsive ones that don’t.
- Less or minimal alcohol.
- Getting up earlier, watching less tv, less social life and or social media (until the new habits are automated and effortless).
- Being mindful, exercising and meditating daily to feel good.
Even if seems like a lot of effort right now, but by following through, you will create new automated habits that will be effortless and that you will really enjoy.
If you want to take it up a notch and practice breaking old automated patterns, you will have to get out of your comfort zone and do things that the “old” you would never do.
If your old character doesn’t like cold water, then have a cold shower every day!
*FYI, I have been doing this not only to break my old patterns but also because it is really good for the immune system.
If your old character doesn’t like getting up early, get up super early!
*Initially your old patterns will prompt you to stay in bed a bit longer (because you deserve to rest), but the more you practice taking control, the easier it gets until you just get up early automatically without effort. And that way you will have more time to do all the things that you have no time for now.
“The sooner you step away from your comfort zone, the sooner you’ll realize that it really wasn’t all that comfortable.”
Nobody is born this way or that way, being a morning person or a night owl, lazy or active, motivated or unmotivated, healthy or unhealthy…
Our automated brain will prompt us to do the actions that are stored based on our habits.
Change your habits and you can be anyone you want to be.
And remember how I mentioned that everything is connected to everything?
If you start gaining control in the other areas, then the area where you feel the least control will improve as well.
Then when it comes to urges to eat, it will be a lot easier to let the observer take charge.
The reasonable part of the brain will say:
“Eating this food will not satisfy me, and I know this because I’ve tried many times and it doesn’t matter if I eat the whole bucket of it, it will not feel good and I will just want to keep eating.
So, let’s break this pattern and have something that will satisfy me instead.”
I have practiced this so many times in the last few years, that now I have no uncontrollable urges to overeat, I am able to have any food that I desire, and I am in control of my new patterns.
I can have fun and enjoy food when I go out and eat with my friends and family, I can finally celebrate Christmas and my birthday with having all the delicious food and cake too, I can go and eat at a Buffet restaurant without binging after and the best part is, that I can maintain my ideal weight guilt-free and without punishment.
I still get cravings for sweets every month during my period and at that time I allow myself to have more treats than usual understanding with my reasonable brain why I feel that way.
And as soon as that week is over, I am back on track, making better choices.
I didn’t experience any progress until I changed into my new identity. Then the more I changed, the more progress I started to see.
The same will be true for you as well.
The person you are now is not the person you’ll be when you achieve massive results.
You will be a different person, a person who is balanced and has control.
All of my life success has happened through breaking my old character and replacing it with a new one capable of achieving bigger goals.
Evolving myself was the only way to close the gap between the old me and the new me.
And next week will be our last week of the program and in our first lesson, we will learn about Synchronicity and confirmation bias and I will show you My personal daily mindset training, routines and habits so you can create your own.
Thank you for completing this lesson, don’t forget to do your Homework and implement what you have learned today.