Mindset and body coaching to overcome emotional eating
Hi, everyone. Lucia Veracruz here, and welcome to Week 3 of our Mindset and body coaching program.
In today’s Lesson 7 we will talk about How everything is connected and the way we do one thing is the way we do everything, Living in denial and facing the truth and how the Laws of the universe can affect our lives.
Last week we talked about our emotions, how to be more mindful, about mindful eating, about why it is important to accept and be free of judgment, why do we experience resistance, self-sabotage and how to raise our standards.
By the way, did you raise your standards over the weekend? 🙂
What we cover today summary:
- The way you do one thing is the way you do everything
- Living in denial and facing the truth
- Laws of the universe
The way you do one thing is the way you do everything
Over the years of being a health and fitness coach, training hundreds of clients, I noticed that those clients who were balanced and had the right mindset were the ones who were most committed to their health and got the best results.
They were usually also the happiest, the most successful and super reliable.
They had this great “energy”, they always focused on long term benefits rather than being side-tracked about the results right now and they worked out accordingly.
So, we could say that there are two types of people.
Those who are able to succeed in many areas of their life by being balanced.
And then there are those who may excel in one or two areas but struggle everywhere else because of their “all or nothing attitude” and perfectionism.
So, they either do something 100% or they won’t do it at all.
And I must admit, I used to be one of them…
Those clients when they were motivated and committed, they would put in 100%, but just as fast as they would “jump all in”, they would also “fall off” the wagon and then suddenly disappear.
They were also the ones who were often late, who complained the most (blaming everything and everybody else) because they were so focused on that “one thing” that everything else in their life would then just spiral out of control…
And that is why they also had the biggest issues with their health, work or with their relationships depending on what it was that they were so focused on.
You can tell a lot about a person’s balance and mindset if you have a look at how they exercise.
If they start training in the new year and then they give up after a couple of weeks and won’t return for a very long time, then that is most likely the commitment they’ll have to other things too.
The “all or nothing” attitude and perfectionism is never sustainable long term!
Whether we give 100%, whether we take it easy, whether we work hard and fast or long and steady then most likely that is how we do most things in life.
Often if our house is messy then most likely other things will be messy too, including our minds because our attention is 100% focused on something else.
If we do minimum effort in one area, then we will most likely do a minimum effort in other areas and then that is the kind of results we will get.
We may excel at that “one thing” but fail everywhere else…
Our commitment to our health over a long period of time is a reflection of our mindset and commitment to most things in life…
We are either balanced or out of balance.
When we are balanced and our mindset is right, we can manage all areas of our life with ease because nothing is perfect, but everything is in order.
It is very important to be aware of this in order to recognize our patterns and be mindful of the way we do things but also to understand that if we want to achieve different results, then we will need to take different action aiming for balance and order.
Living in denial and facing the truth
Denial is a form of self-sabotage, a primitive defense mechanism that people use subconsciously to discharge fear of facing the truth which prevents them from growing, improving their lives and being happy.
Being in denial is when you tell yourself lies that tomorrow you will get up earlier, you will get more organized, you will not buy food that doesn’t satisfy you, etc… but then you continue with your old habits.
Doing what you have always done will not create a different result tomorrow.
Denial is the main cause of suffering that we are often unaware off and the longer we deny it the worse our suffering will become.
People living in denial often don’t take responsibility for their actions and they are kidding themselves by thinking that they can act like they always have and not face the consequences.
It’s when we do something which we know isn’t good for us (skipping meals, skipping workouts, staying up late and then sleeping in, not planning ahead, buying food that doesn’t satisfy us), but we do it anyway and then we are surprised when we get the consequence of those actions (binging, feeling guilty, sick, gaining weight).
On some level, people believe that they can’t handle the truth so they focus on the short term benefit from living in denial (the momentary pleasure from being irresponsible and indulging) which then leads to long term suffering.
So our mind starts creating excuses (I am not as bad as an anorexic, or bulimic or I am not obese, I am healthier than most people) to protect the rational mind from the stress of not being able to deal with the problem.
An inner critique is also a form of denial. There is a part of us that doesn’t like ourselves.
It keeps us paralyzed and procrastinating, but we are never going to get anywhere if we are unwilling to break this cycle of never-ending self-sabotage.
If we keep denying that we are responsible for everything in our lives and we keep sweeping our “pain” under the rug, sooner or later it will manifest somewhere else.
It is extremely important to overcome denial, face the “painful” truth and stop lying to ourselves.
Pain exists because it wants to show us that we need to change, it is here to teach us something but we won’t learn anything if we keep running away from it or if we suppress it with food.
There were days when I was lying to myself, thinking that I will be able to control my urges and not binge even if I bought unsatisfying food, skipped meals, skipped workouts or had another glass of wine…
But only when I finally faced the truth, felt the “pain” (all the emotions I was covering up with food) and accepted that my actions had consequences, I was able to learn the lessons I needed in order to change.
Once I recovered and the urges to binge were gone, I didn’t have to be so diligent anymore because with my new mindset and lifestyle I was able to make better choices with ease.
But while I was vulnerable and I wanted to change, it was important for me to take every action with an end result in mind and stop lying to myself.
Laws of the universe
During my journey of transformation, I have noticed that some patterns in life were connected by these universal rules.
And even though they may look restrictive but in reality, they are a great road map to a healthy mindset.
Those who are not aware of these laws or ignore them, often live lives of imbalance, inner isolation and chaos.
When you have a solid sense of these spiritual laws, you will get to know yourself and your environment in which you are evolving and develop a clearer picture of your own place in the world.
1. The law of oneness
Everything, everyone and every particle in the Universe are connected.
Every action, desire, decision, choice and belief will affect others and the world around us at some point in time.
Whenever we see an act of kindness, others will benefit from it and whenever we see pain and hurt, others will suffer by it.
*Your unhealthy relationship with food and quiet suffering will affect others in your life one way or another even if you can’t see it right now.
2. The law of vibration and attraction
All the particles in the Universe move and vibrate at a certain energy level.
And each particle that vibrates on a higher energy level is attracted to other particles vibrating on the same level.
Same as the particles, each action, word, and thought induce a frequency in us.
That’s why we should be mindful of what we do, say and think to make sure we attract more of the right thoughts on the higher energy level.
*So, in order to attract the things you desire in life, you will need to break the cycle of negative thinking and self-sabotage and replace them with positive thinking, being proactive and more loving starting with yourself.
3. The law of correspondence/ communication
We only need to understand how life works within ourselves to be able to understand everyone else.
We perceive the world as we perceive ourselves and the way we see the world depends on the way we think.
The negative feelings and judgments towards anyone have nothing to do with the other person and have everything to do with us…
Everything starts and everything ends with us until we learn our lesson.
*Your fears and judgments of others are only a reflection of what you fear and deny in yourself.
4. The law of action
Many people think that visualizing, goal settings and affirmations will be sufficient to reach their dreams.
And when the dreams don’t come true, they give up on doing all those things…
*However, you also have to take action towards achieving your goals and raise your standards to ensure your dreams become your reality.
5. The law of cause (action) and effect
For every cause, there is an effect. It is impossible to take some kind of action without it having an effect on something.
For example, if the cause (action) is skipping meals, then the effect would be more urges to binge.
Same as if the cause (action) is eating regular healthy, nutritious and satisfying meals, then the effect is less urges to binge.
Since sometimes the effect is not immediate, often people keep doing the wrong actions.
*To be able to be objective about your weight, you need to understand that more healthy satisfying choices (action) will lead to fewer urges to binge and weight loss (effect) and fewer satisfying meals (action) will lead to more binging and weight gain (effect).
6. The law of relativity
This Law says that each person will receive a series of tests, trials and experiences for the purpose of strengthening and growing.
And that no person, experience, emotion or action is good or bad, it is all relative to what you compare it to.
For example, you may think that you need to lose a lot of weight because you are comparing yourself to models or what the society perceives as slim and healthy (based on the latest fashion magazines).
But if you went to Samoa where most women are curvy and voluptuous, then you would fit right in or you could be the skinniest person on the island and you wouldn’t think that you need to lose any weight at all!
This law also teaches us to compare our problems to others’ problems and put everything into perspective.
No matter how bad we perceive our situation to be, there is always someone who is in a worse position.
*Use this to remind yourself of what is important in life, what are you grateful for and what are you proud of.
But most importantly what are the lessons that you suppose to learn in order to grow?
7. The law of polarity
Everything in the universe has an opposite which in reality is the beginning or the end of that same energy.
There is no difference between hot and cold, it is just different degrees of heat or there is no real difference between hate and love, it is the same energy at a different degree.
*To achieve and keep balance, you need to accept both the “light” and the “dark” within yourself. One cannot exist without the other.
Following these universal rules, is like following a road map towards the “new you” with less resistance.
So whether you are spiritual or not, take them into consideration and start implementing them.
And if you are not sure, just ask yourself:
Are your current beliefs, actions and mindset getting you the results you want?
If not, then it is time to change!
And in our next lesson, we will talk about Resolving conflict within society and Accepting both sides of society.
Thank you for completing this lesson, here is today’s homework and check out the implementation tips tomorrow that will help you to put this into practice.